Life Exhaust

Or should it be life is exhausting? I have though, officially applied to graduate this December 2009 with my Master of Art in Communication Leadership from Gonzaga University! Yea! I plan on driving to Spokane, Washington in May 2010 to celebrate and participate in commencement. But in the mean time I have senior fever. You know the:

"I'm nearly done syndrome"
"Can't wait to be done"
"Is this week done & did I finish everything - man I can't seem to focus syndrome"
"The, why am I still in school?" syndrome..... and so forth.

Yep definitely hard to focus. But I've got to, I have to make it!

One of my current classmates mentioned how they admire my strange will to keep going, they're right it is a strong and strange will - but I hate to start something and not finish!

Life is certainly exhausting, emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically - it's no wonder we age. After constant trauma over the past 2.5 years, I'm exhausted. But I have an absolutely wonderful (& expensive) Naturopathic Physician who is guiding me towards better self-care and health. She is amazing - she sees me as a real person, not patient number so and so....

And yet, chatting with my whitefire sister, her trauma (thank the lord she and her daughter are still alive!) made mine feel a touch lighter. Yet both our trauma is just as heavy as the others', just obtusely different trials and tribulations.

In just 2.5 years (actually not even that) I have:

Begun Grad school.
Had my husband wreck our car (he was ok).
Beloved Aunt die.
Fix car.
Live apart for 2 months.
Family Wedding & Apartment Hunt.
Have a miscarriage all alone (3-4 mos along).
Move.
Work full-time in a pioneer outfit in 100+ degree weather Monday thru Saturday.
School.
Family Wedding.
School.
Bought our first home - of course a fixer-upper, major.
Move.
Lived with my grandfather and my Alzhiemer grandmother - and cousin/husband for 8 months.
School.
Hubby's granmother's funeral.
Crappy Job.
Second Miscarriage.
Move.
School.
Third Miscarriage.
Temp Job.
No Job.
School.
Job.
Hubby's Class
Pre-service Foster Care Classes (32 hours in 1 month)
Bone Cyst.
Hubby's grandfather's funeral.
Fourth Miscarriage.
Robbery.
School.

You tired yet? That doesn't involve all the nitty-gritty of everyday living or fixing up the house or...

Don't get me wrong, life is great, fantastic, enjoyable. Life is certainly yin and yang - good and bad. I have definitely learned a hell of a lot more than I ever would have had I not known all that I know now, and a lot of it only I understand. It makes life all the more precious and meaningful. Even if life's exhaust seems to swallow us whole.

--Ecologista

Robbed!

I know it's been some time since I began this blog, but a plethora of things have happened; which with the way my life is, don't be surprised. But, I feel as though writing here will be a little therapeutic - despite my current crisis mode and stress for needing to finish my final paper for my most recent class to change my incomplete grade to a grade. I have Encondroma, which is a bone cyst surrounding my ring finger from the knuckle to the first joint, and the tip of my pinkie finger is the size of area the cyst has replaced the inside of my bone as well. Due to this, I was one-handed for nearly 2 months. I'm finally able to "wean" away from my brace; but I still have to have surgery in May with a bone graft from my hip (not looking forward to that).

Now, according to the title of this blog, yes we were robbed today. Our house was broken into and $2100 worth of belongings were stolen (which is a lot for us, as we don't have much in the avenue of money or things). Thankfully they didn't care to take our wedding rings or paperwork with our personal information all over it (we're in the process of refinancing our house, gee what timing.) They did take our laptop which does have information, or did. The great police officers of our city have already recovered our laptop and arrested one of the men. All within a few hours of me getting home, calling Kabaju, and everyone else I could locally; and helping them gather as much evidence as possible.

The freaky thing though is the fact that as I was stepping out this morning to go to work I had a feeling that I was being watched. According to our pre-paid cell phone activity they began making calls at 10:40 am this morning. I headed out to work at 9:20 am. *gah, shiver* When I got home the snow shovel was tipped over in the driveway (even though there was no wind whatsoever), there were 2 coffee cups next to the house, both bedroom lights were on, and my dresser and jewelry were obviously rummaged through - talk about heavy violation. Even Kabaju feels violated.

It was neat that the sergeant enjoyed showing me how the finger print powder worked and that it was easier to get fingerprints when people were cold as compared to warm. He asked if I ever watched CSI. I told him I had in the past, but not really. He told me don't believe them; to which I responded why would I it's Hollywood, they're always fake. I never did blurt out that I was not one to be messed with, and we did everything possible to help track the petty thieves down - although one is still at large. Stupid McDonald's for not having surveillance - they left behind 2 coffee cups from McDonald's. The man was staying at a shady place about .25 mile from our house.... either way stupid thieves don't mess with me! I'm no dummy!

So now I get to lose a day's pay to stay home and take care of a mess, and redo all our accounts, and find out how that will affect our refinancing; all the while trying to keep my head together enough so I can finish that darned final paper! I've already applied to graduate this December! I'm too close not to finish... I will finish!

The Beginning and a Continuation

A lot of people I know in my life have a blog - an online avenue of communication beyond the more familiar virtual form of e-mail. The first time I experimented with creating a blog was in one of my early Communication and Leadership Master of Art classes. However, I have not 'posted' to that blog since last year. A lot of friends and family have bugged me about joining people on places like facebook. The other thing I have been wanting to do is to be able to respond to people's blogs that I read every now and then when I have time... but alas, I did not have my own blog or an account with the blogger blogs - I had a Uniblog blog. So, here I am creating a new and fresh blog with the rest of you on the blogger blogs of the world.



I am a graduate student with Gonzaga University online. I am an Ecologist by trade married to an EE (Electrial Engineer), have not the ability to keep babies for an unknown reason to man and medicine, a plethora of food allergies and we are preparing to become liscensed Foster Parents. I hope to post what we learn in relation to my food allergies - how to cope, live with, and continue forward. As well as our adventures as Foster Parents. And of course, as the title implies present an ecology of life.



Life is a journey, a process, a never-ending exploration.



Happy Blogging. Welcome to Ecology of Life.



--Ecologista