tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20369149331852422152024-02-07T01:11:04.452-07:00Ecology of LifeEcologistahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12532536932069866130noreply@blogger.comBlogger42125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2036914933185242215.post-87347725104511351712013-06-03T09:00:00.000-06:002013-06-03T09:00:03.296-06:00Sew Crochet MondayHappy June everyone!<br />
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My blog sees that you have returned for some more fantastic Sew Crochet! Here is another quick project that I did sometime in the beginning of May.<br />
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<u>Quick Project:</u> Custom Travel Pillow with straps for tying to luggage.<br />
<u>Fabric:</u> Pink Flannel Girl Missionary Print<br />
<u>Pattern:</u> My own Creation<br />
<u>Store:</u> Deseret Book - Mormon Handicraft<br />
<u>Made for:</u> My sister whom is serving a mission for <a href="http://www.lds.org/?lang=eng">The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints</a> (aka<a href="http://mormon.org/"> Mormon</a>). <br />
<u>Started and Finished</u> within a couple days at the beginning of May (this includes washing the material first).<br />
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She has been on her mission for nearly 18 months - she's coming home within the next few weeks. So excited to see her again! We (as a family) got to talk with her each Christmas for the past 2 Christmas's and our mom also got to talk with her on each Mother's Day that she has been gone. Otherwise correspondence has been via email and mail. I wanted to send her something missionary related that she could use in her travels and I thought, "I would be really tired, a pillow would be nice...." and that's just what I did. I found some cute fabric that matched what she has been up to, already had stuffing and thread on hand so I bought 1/2 yard of fabric. I still have a piece that is 14.5" long x 18 3/4 wide. I'll bet I used a good fat quarter to make the pillow.... I didn't measure it before I stuffed it. It has 1 seam that runs along 1 long end and the 2 short ends - in the middle I sewed the straps to the inside of the pillow. I did a straight stitch with a zigzag stitch on either side for an extra strong seam. I used my old simple machine to make it.<br />
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The great thing about the design is that you can wrap it around the back of your neck in a U-shape, or you can cuddle it to the side or partial on the side and behind your head - it's totally up to you!<br />
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<br />Ecologistahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12532536932069866130noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2036914933185242215.post-57756961101958857002013-05-29T09:00:00.000-06:002013-05-29T09:00:04.276-06:00Wordless Wednesday<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Ecologistahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12532536932069866130noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2036914933185242215.post-42513983629907876012013-05-27T09:00:00.000-06:002013-05-27T09:00:01.304-06:00Sew Crochet MondayHappy Memorial Day. May we remember those whom have gone ahead of us always in our hearts. They are a part of us and we of them.<br />
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Now, onto the recent projects I've created. : ) I've had a couple projects going for quite some time... and then one quick one showed up when I was picking up material and notions for yet another project that I will be working on here soon... and then another quickie joined in....<br />
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Ahem.<br />
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<u>Project</u>: Green Flower Shirt<br />
<u>Pattern:</u> Simplicity 8083 size RR view 3<br />
<u>Fabric</u> - cotton? print floral - my mom had it on hand. <br />
<u>Started</u> sometime in April.<br />
<u>Finished</u> ~a week ago. (I got a "dream" sewing machine... more on that later... in another post.)<br />
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I made the shirt with my old machine that I've had half my life (~16 years) ok, just over half my life....) and finished it (buttonholes/buttons) using my new machine.<br />
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It's my first shirt/piece of clothing I've made without my mom's help... yes I have mended and replaced a zipper by myself... but I have learned the most (I think) doing things hands on with my mom - which have been few and far in-between. I added ~3 inches to the sleeves, took off 1 button and pressed down the neckline to make it a v-shape instead of u-shape. There's 1 obvious oops, but other than that oops, I think it turned out great!<br />
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TIP: Use fusible interfacing - it's fast and easy! The lady at <a href="http://www.fabriccenter.net/">The Fabric Center</a> was wise in giving me fusible interfacing. To make any adjustments you wish, use tracing paper - I saw my mom do this all the time.<br />
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<u>Quick Project:</u> Bloomin' Skirt size 6-12 months<br />
<u>Pattern:</u> Bloomin' Skirt by <a href="http://cosettescloset.blogspot.com/">Cosettescloset </a><br />
(I found the pattern at The Fabric Center - see link above.)<br />
<u>Fabric</u> - scrap from my mom & a store.<br />
<u>Started and finished</u> in April - I think it took me ~1week to make.<br />
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<u>Project:</u> Crochet Valance<br />
<u>Started:</u> February - gathering of supplies; March, I began crocheting a sampler to learn the pattern and determine gauge; May, I began the official Valances.<br />
<u>Pattern:</u> Feather Stitch Valance by Mickie Akins in: <i>Special Techniques & Stitches in Crochet</i>, Ed. Judy Crow<br />
<u>Yarn:</u> Cone of Peaches & Creme in Kaleidescope; worsted weight<br />
(I used the same type of yarn for the sampler - Lily Sugar'n Creme in Potporri)<br />
<u>Hook:</u> Sampler - L (8mm); Official - N (10 mm)<br />
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I tend to crochet very tight - it's just the way I am. So if you crochet loosely go with what the pattern recommends and do a sample swatch to figure out your gauge. I'm going to be using my sample valance so I didn't mind making an entire valance instead of just a swatch. To do the swatch use the Feathers pattern or the Feather Stitch washcloth pattern in the book.<br />
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My sampler ended up being: ~23" width x 6.5-7" length <span style="font-size: x-small;">(not counting the hanging loops I'm adding)</span><br />
The Official Valance size is <span style="font-size: x-small;">(there will be 4 of these)</span>: ~35" width x 9.5-10" length <span style="font-size: x-small;">(not counting hanging loops that will be added)</span> <span style="font-size: x-small;">[These measurements are in inches.]</span><br />
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Well, I think that's a bit long, but pictures are fun to look at. Until next time on Sew Crochet. Have a great week everyone.<br />
<br />Ecologistahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12532536932069866130noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2036914933185242215.post-76115274897637854622013-04-15T16:16:00.000-06:002013-04-15T16:16:08.954-06:00Sew Crochet MondayHello all.<br />
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It would seem that has I have now had success at creating and keeping a pregnancy and nurishing a new life - I have an itch.... to <i>create... a lot.</i><br />
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I have been working on picking my love of crochet back up and learning all kinds of new stitches and patterns. I have loved it, been flustered at times, sore, and gaining a lot of confidence in myself and my abilities. Most of my projects are on <a href="https://www.ravelry.com/account/login">Raverly</a> - you do have to be a member to sign in and see them... so I will show you some of the things I've already done - awhile ago. Of course, all these things that I have crocheted are a first for me beyond a chain scruncii. : )<br />
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This is an eyeglass case I did for my sister with her crazy colored yarn. The inner lining is an upcycled white sleeve from what used to be a long sleeve shirt. [Pattern:
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<a href="http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/basketweave-eyeglass-case">Basketweave Eyeglass Case</a>
by Susan Lowman]</div>
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My close girlfriend of over a decade had a baby boy ~2.5 weeks before BabyDragon was born. I was going to make her a sea themed blanket (since her theme was sea turtles)... but instead used some of the squares to make her a scarf and gave her the rest of the squares to be incorporated into a quilt she is making him. (I'm excited to see it!) [These are just some of the squares - there were 2 more rows of sea. 24 squares total. The square pattern is from<i> Hip 2 B Square: Totes & Bags</i> by Melissa Leapman - the colors & theme is my own & Kabaju's. I used pattern for: #7 - Griddle Stitch, #15 - Star, #8 - Wavy
] The scarf had 1 beach and 1 sand-dollar square with 7 sea squares.<br />
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This is my first EVER piece of clothing I have crocheted - a 3-6 month size
<a href="http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/snap-dragon-infant-dress">Snap Dragon Infant Dress</a>
(pattern by Kate Wagstaff) for BabyDragon (which obviously has not fit now for ~2 months. (Ya she's 9 months! Time flies!) I used scrap yarn that was leftover from doing my friend's sea project.<br />
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Here is a baby doll (amigurami) I did using scrap yarn leftover from her dress and my friend's sea project. I used basic stuffing. [
<a href="http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/babys-first-doll">Baby's First Doll</a>
by Tiffany Roan with these adjustments to close up the bottom of the doll; <br />
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NOTE: Make sure to mark beginning of the row - it will make it easier
as a reference for counting. After doing round 41, the chain you
skipped will be your 1st SC on round 42 and so on.<br />
Round 41 SC in the next 5 SC, SK 1, Repeat around. <br />Round 42 SC in the next 4 SC, SK 1, Repeat around. <br />Round 43 SC in the next 3 SC, SK 1, Repeat around. <br />Round 44 SC in the next 2 SC, SK 1, Repeat around. <br />Round 45 SC, SK 1, SC, SK 1 - around and finish off, weaving in loose end with a yarn needle.]<br />
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Yep confidence booster big time. : ) Now to just be able to be a bit faster and not take a looooonnnnggg time to do my projects... the doll was my fastest at only a few days whereas all others took months to do.<br />
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I wrote down all the projects I'm doing and found my qeue has 8! Two are crochet and the rest are sewing.<br />
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Sew, here is what I have sewn so far.<br />
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I bought the kit: <a href="http://www.spoonflower.com/fabric/851293">Noah's Ark Baby Book</a> in a fat quarter of organic cotton sateen.<br />
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<br />
It is completely finished and BabyDragon loves eating it. : ) I used one of my crochet hooks for stuffing the 6 animals, Noah, and the rainbow.<br />
<br />
I look forward to completing another great project and sharing. : ) What burst of creativity have you had?<br />
<i> </i>Ecologistahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12532536932069866130noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2036914933185242215.post-23110573863350791212013-01-23T10:00:00.000-07:002013-01-23T10:00:01.756-07:00Wordless Wednesday<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Ecologistahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12532536932069866130noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2036914933185242215.post-83565144825974255532012-09-05T22:26:00.000-06:002012-09-05T22:29:15.080-06:00Baby Dragon<div style="margin-bottom: 0.02in; margin-top: 0.02in;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Hello
everyone. Last I wrote I was, for the first time in a total of 8
pregnancies 6.5 months along. Now, as I write this time, I have my
baby in my lap at ~7 weeks old. </span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.02in; margin-top: 0.02in;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.02in; margin-top: 0.02in;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I
gave birth to a beautiful, happy, healthy baby GIRL. In all honesty,
we did cave and "peeked" at what baby was in a very late
ultrasound around 7 months along at the beginning of May - but we
kept it secret, haha. I had such a late follow-up ultrasound after
the typical one at 5 months, due to a low-lying placenta. We wanted
to see if it was pulled up with the further expansion of the uterine
muscles. Why? Well, if the placenta had remained "low" -
which means down by my cervix - I would have been subjected to a
Cesarean birth to avoid the major risk of hemorrhage that would have
been caused by the placenta separating from the uterine wall as my
cervix thinned and opened (dilated). Thankfully, baby's head was
lower than the placenta which confirmed that the placenta indeed was
pulled up and no longer low and a major risk. Which also meant I was
free to birth vaginally. </span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.02in; margin-top: 0.02in;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.02in; margin-top: 0.02in;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I
debated between (and compared) two birthing classes: Hypnobirthing
and Birthing From Within. In the end, Birthing From Within won out -
and matched our schedules better. Before we knew it, the class began
and then ended. I look forward to our post-partum gathering.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.02in; margin-top: 0.02in;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.02in; margin-top: 0.02in;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">How'd
the birth go? In short, here's my birth story: </span></span>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.02in; margin-top: 0.02in;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.02in; margin-top: 0.02in;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Just
shy of my baby's "due" date, at my weekly follow-up visit,
my blood pressure spiked - and with how very, very swollen I was
those days, I ended up having pre-eclampsia. To avoid eclampsia, my
doctor sent me in to be induced. She wanted me to start with
pictocin, but in speaking with her she agreed to let me start with a
"ripening" agent called Cervidil. I was 85% effaced
(thinned), and ~1.5 cm dilated. Was I happy about being induced? No.
Do I have any regrets about how my birth went in the end? Nope. I'd
do it all over again. I'm glad that I was able to avoid eclampsia and
the accompanying emergency Cesarean birth that would have followed.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.02in; margin-top: 0.02in;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.02in; margin-top: 0.02in;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">In
the end, the nurses I had at St. Mark's and my OB were all wonderful.
My neighbor was equally wonderful in coming over to assist my husband
in giving me a blessing - because I was stressed and nervous... etc -
so many emotions! Then, my dear friend a physical therapist came that
night and gave me a long full body message. I am eternally grateful
for her. I entered laborland shortly thereafter (~2 hours later)
stress and tense free. After 8 hours, they pulled the cervidil (took
the medicine away), because my body took off and labor was full on. I
was 100% effaced and 3-4 cm; they thought it would take 12 hours and
then would start pictocin (artificial oxytocin) to get contractions
going. The entire time I and baby were monitored. They did let me off
the monitors to use the jetted tub for coping technique for ~1 hour
or so. In the next 4 hours after the medicine was pulled, I went from
3/4 to 9-10 cm (which is fully open/dilated). At the 12 hour mark, my
OB came in. She was happy for me, and was a great support. She did
break my water - as it had not yet broken, even though I was already
starting to push. I was ready, it was time, and I knew it. It was
interesting the change from laboring to open, to birthing (pushing) -
I had a renewed sense of energy - which was a good thing. It took 1.5
hours to birth my baby. She came presented vertex (facing sideways).
In the end, she kicked me and it helped propel her out. It was
intriguing feeling her body being born - after her head had been
born. Hubby cut the cord, helped the nurse wipe her off, held her and
then laid her on me - skin to skin. She was wide awake, looking at
me, and sucked her thumb - all while my OB stitched me up from a tier
2 tear.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.02in; margin-top: 0.02in;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.02in; margin-top: 0.02in;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">No,
I didn't stare at the clock a lot - maybe in the beginning, although
after awhile the clock didn't make sense since labor has it's own
clock. I know about how long everything took since my hubby took note
of when the induction began and when baby was born - he slept most of
the night - although he did do what he could to support me every now
and then during the night (which thankfully ended up being short -
though at the time, I didn't even notice in the shift from night to
day except for the change in nurses).</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.02in; margin-top: 0.02in;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.02in; margin-top: 0.02in;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">All
in all, labor and birth lasted a total of 13.5 hours - thank heavens!
It was short, quick, intense and incredible! I did not take any pain
meds until after birth - I birthed my baby with absolute minimal
intervention. I praise God for it all.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.02in; margin-top: 0.02in;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.02in; margin-top: 0.02in;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Yes,
she's a redhead just like me & her daddy's beard. : ) She was
little - at 6 lbs 10.6 oz, 18.5 inches long. She had a lovely round
head, lovely hair, and dark eyes (now that her eyes are no longer
glassy, it would seem they are mix of my & hubby's eyes - I call
them Brown Hazel). She's an absolute doll - and still is. I love her
smiles. We call her our Baby Dragon. </span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.02in; margin-top: 0.02in;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.02in; margin-top: 0.02in;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">The fist picture is her brand new (within her 1st week). The second is her at ~6 weeks old.</span></span>
</div>
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Ecologistahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12532536932069866130noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2036914933185242215.post-50175541789336598202012-04-12T10:00:00.004-06:002012-04-12T17:05:13.250-06:00Good Riddance 2011... Hello 20122011 was tough. A lot of good happened. It was also hell. Glad it's been over for some time. Our new year didn't really begin until Chinese New Year 2012.<br />
<br />
Beginning 2011 Princess Frog left us....<br />
Spring 2011 I taught a class. My sister graduated from college and moved in. She also ended up getting a kitten. I also went to an RE and did a bunch more testing that was expensive.... it showed nothing abnormal or wrong as usual.... I was done.<br />
Summer 2011 I ended up picking up a class halfway through... and just before that ended up on Jury Duty (I was sick the entire time which really <i>sucked</i>).<br />
Late Summer 2011 I volunteered at the County Fair and we entered some photos. <br />
Fall 2011 I took the leap to teach the max allowable allotment of classes: 3. I had ~80 students total.... I was also going to work at the State Fair.... but....<br />
<br />
Labor Day weekend we got our second placement... a newborn baby girl - who we called Duckie. I guess that is what having the hubby take a turn with testing will do. Haha. I was done - there was no more testing I could do. I worked at the State Fair for 1 day and then got a baby. My boss was awesome about it. The fall semester had been underway so I had a new baby and 3 classes with 80 students.... yep, nuts.<br />
<br />
Duckie stayed with us for only 5 weeks. I got to meet her biological grandparents. She went to the family that adopted her siblings a few years previous - they had to get their license renewed.... Her caseworker was awesome. It was much smoother going than Princess Frog's case. What did make it hard was having her move not long after my best friend miscarried.... I bawled a lot in a short amount of time.<br />
<br />
I ended up off track with keeping up on grading student's assignments... but by darn I survived... despite the affects of slight CO poisoning.... that's right soon as we turned on our furnace it was leaking a bit from it's inner depths... We could smell a small amount of gas, so we opened the smallest basement window.... we called our neighbor that does HVAC... they affirmed the furnace was leaking. <i>Great.</i> It was old... and the part that was leaking... well was the entirety of the inside of the furnace... the new furnaces are made so the inside has separate pieces that can be replaced. So off the furnace was turned... it was cold. They were nice and lent us 2 heavy duty space heaters that got us through until they could get our furnace installed. Good thing I had my job. Around exact same time that our furnace was installed and paid for... we sold our little blue giant (geo metro). That happened a lot faster than anticipated... we had already agreed to sell the little giant so we could buy my sister's car. My sister that lived with us, decided to serve a religious mission. Good thing I did pick up so many classes - we were able to replace our furnace and a car because of it. No debt incurred and no long-term ding to our savings. (We also agreed to take care of her kitten turned cat until she returns next summer.)<br />
<br />
In the middle of all of that fun.... After hubby did his test and 5-6 months worth of tracking certain pieces of my cycle and knowing exactly when those pieces of my cycle occurred, we decided to "go for it".... Was I scared? I was beside myself... but my body wanted a baby right <i>now</i>...<i> </i>so scared... so beyond scared... At hubby's follow-up visit a couple weeks later the test was positive, faint and slow-coming but positive. I tested that morning too - same thing. I was immediately put on a natural form of progesterone to help sustain the pregnancy (no guarantee, but hope). Next morning same. I got 3 (faint) positive pregnancy tests! I did a blood test right after the appointment and had to wait.... no call came all day next day.... so I finally called the after-hours doctor and a nurse called me next day.... HCG was 208! RE was hoping for an absolute minimum of 5-10 (or something like that). Wow! Did another blood test 4 days later... 24 hours... result: HCG 1315! Holy whoa! RE was hoping for the 208 to double to 416... it went up just over 6 times what we were hoping.... It was confirmed: I was at that point (as the doctor's count it) 1 month along.<br />
<br />
I was also deep into the fall semester... I had ~1 month left. By semester's end I was around to just over 2 months along - barely. No one knew (except me, hubby, and all my dr's). I had 3 ultrasounds, 1 visit to my PCP, and 1 typical prenatal checkup at the end of the year... then they made me wait an entire month for my next prenatal visit! It was nerve-wracking!<br />
<br />
Oh, and what made the end of 2011 hell: with ~1.5-2 weeks of the semester left we got a call from a source outside DCFS to tell us Princess Frog was back into Foster Care.... and we needed to get her back because her bio mom's rights were gone (relinquished or terminated - can't remember which).... of course it had to come during the weekend... urg! We immediately left messages for our RFC, and appropriate personnel, including the Ombudsmen.... Long story short: 2 weeks to contact the team as to why and what happened we got an answer of: "you're not involved, so we can't tell you anything." They broke a law by never informing us... yet no one was punished.... a committee was setup to review the case... it took a month... we presented to the committee. They couldn't decide. The whole situation was escalated to the Region Head of DCFS... we meet with higher ups... about a lot of concerns. Due to damn bureaucratic slowness... and holidays it took another month for a final decision.... At this point we learn that Princess Frog has been with her 3rd foster family for ~2+ months and that her bio mom is now deceased. She is more than fully up for adoption - in theory we should be the ones to be able to adopt her without question.... <i>but</i>... it was too late. The system was too slow. We lost her forever. Literally. Our first adoption loss.... we were devastated. We didn't even decorate for Christmas (which has <i>never ever</i> happened... <b><i>ever</i></b>). We did spend time with family, do presents and stuff... but it was very painful.... very very few people knew.... and know.<br />
<br />
Somehow God's grace let my pregnancy hold through all this. Our new year of 2012 began with the Chinese New Year. It is the Year of the Water Dragon. We are going to have a baby dragon. : ) Thus our theme is Dragons. I have made it to ~6.5 months along! We are very excited. We told our family and friends when I made it to the 4 month mark (plus by then I really couldn't hide the pregnancy anymore). My best friend was told 1-2 months ahead of family and friends - I needed her support since she could relate to what I was going through. People were insensitive at Christmas and questioned me on my weight... I had already begun to gain a pouch at 2 months... I wasn't surprised... but was hoping not to pop until later.... No, we are not finding out what we are having. It's a surprise. : ) It was something to watch the baby go from a tiny blob, to a little bigger blob... to holy wow! That really is a baby in there! Hello, 2012 - we are looking forward to a new beginning. A new life. A permanent addition to our family.Ecologistahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12532536932069866130noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2036914933185242215.post-72142903063372582372011-07-11T22:13:00.004-06:002011-07-11T22:21:57.155-06:00A Thought<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">“<i>Women must first develop courage. Courage is the most important of all virtues because without courage, they cannot practice any other virtue consistently. A woman can be kind, fair, strong, generous, courteous and even loving, erratically. But to be that continuously, consistently, you have to have courage.”</i></span></div><br />
<span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">–Maya Angelou</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Pulled from:<a href="http://myhopefuljourney.com/courageous-women"> http://myhopefuljourney.com/courageous-women</a></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Also I really like this <a href="http://solegroup.blogspot.com/2011/05/music-monday-courage.html">poem</a>. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span> </span></span>Ecologistahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12532536932069866130noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2036914933185242215.post-5745652427056449952011-06-14T22:05:00.000-06:002011-06-14T22:05:34.609-06:00Adoption<pre style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I've mentioned adoption quite a bit while talking about infertility. As I have </span></pre><pre style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">previously mentioned, adoption is quite daunting for both sides. To give you an </span></pre><pre style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">idea of how overwhelming it can be and what the process is like I have listed below</span></pre><pre style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">lots and lots of links to various websites. If you are interested in Adoption, please </span></pre><pre style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">feel free to use these links as needed and I do wish you the best. The range in cost </span></pre><pre style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I have found to be ~$10,000-50,000 (I tend to focus on domestic adoption, but </span></pre><pre style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">international tends to be ~$15,000-50,000). </span></pre><pre style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></pre><pre style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Please remember overall that Adoption is a truly selfless act of love. It is amazing</span></pre><pre style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">what adoption can do for so many lives. I hope to one day experience the miracle of </span></pre><pre style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">adoption and be able to thank a birthmother/parent/family. We hope to do so debt free.</span></pre><pre style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></pre><pre style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>Please be aware that I am NOT affiliated nor do I endorse any of the sites listed. I</i></span></pre><pre style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>have these sites merely from searching about adoption. This is by no means a completely </i></span></pre><pre style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>exhaustive list either - there are many more agencies out there that I have not listed.</i></span></pre><pre style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>These lists are arranged via alphabetical order. </i>
Mainly for Birthmothers/BirthParent(s):
<a href="http://www.adoptionplanners.com/">Adoption Planners</a>
<a href="http://www.iheartadoption.org/">I Heart Adoption</a>
<a href="http://www.littleangeladoptions.com/">Little Angel Adoptions</a> </span></pre><pre style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.theadoptionfoundation.com/">The Adoption Foundation</a>
Adoption (many of these sites are for both adoptive families and birth families):</span></pre><pre style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.aactofloveadoptions.com/">A Act of Love</a>
<a href="http://utah.adoption.com/">Adoption.com</a></span></pre><pre style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.adopthelp.com/">Adopt Help</a>
<a href="http://adoptionnetwork.com/">Adoption Network Law Center</a> </span></pre><pre style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> (We requested further information and found out their costs range from $30,000-40,000)
</span></pre><pre style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.americanadoptions.com/">American Adoptions</a> </span></pre><pre style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/%20http://www.adoptuskids.org/">Adopt US Kids</a> </span></pre><pre style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.ababystepadoption.com/">A Baby Step</a>
<a href="http://www.ababystepadoption.com/faq.php">FAQ for A Baby Step Adoption</a> </span></pre><pre style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://beaconhouseadoption.com/">Beacon House Adoption Services</a> </span></pre><pre style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> <a href="http://beaconhouseadoption.com/PDF/Dom3-2011.pdf">Beacon House Process and Application for Domestic Adoption</a> </span></pre><pre style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.achildsdream.org/">A Child's Dream</a> </span></pre><pre style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> <a href="http://www.achildsdream.org/pdfs/adoptive_process.pdf">Process for A Child's Dream</a> </span></pre><pre style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.crossroadsadoption.com/Home/tabid/36/Default.aspx">Crossroads Adoption Services</a> </span></pre><pre style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> <a href="http://www.crossroadsadoption.com/portals/0/docs/Out%20of%20Agency%20Application.pdf">An Application from Crossroads</a>
<a href="http://www.childwelfare.gov/adoption/">Child Welfare Information Gateway</a>
</span></pre><pre style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.cssutah.org/adoption-services">Children's Service Society</a> </span></pre><pre style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.directadoptions.com/">Direct Adoptions</a> (This website is not an agency. It is a place to create a profile and </span></pre><pre style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> connect directly with birthfamilies; see brochure link). </span></pre><pre style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> <a href="http://www.directadoptions.com/DirectAdoptions-weblowres.pdf">Brochure for Direct Adoptions</a> (Price for membership: ~$300, plus ~$60 per month)</span></pre><pre style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.hearttoheartadopt.calls.net/">Heart to Heart</a> </span></pre><pre style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> <a href="http://siterepository.s3.amazonaws.com/00609201103250148041112.pdf">Summary of Process for Heart to Heart Adoptions</a></span></pre><pre style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> <a href="http://www.hearttoheartadopt.calls.net/application-for-services.htm">Applications & Home Study Packets for Heart to Heart</a> </span></pre><pre style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> <a href="http://www.hearttoheartadopt.calls.net/adoption-fees.htm">Fees for Heart to Heart Adoptions</a> </span></pre><pre style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.hopingtoadopt.org/index.php/home">Hoping to Adopt</a> </span></pre><pre style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.adoptionhelp.org/">Independent Adoption Center</a> </span></pre><pre style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="https://www.itsaboutlove.org/ial/ct/eng/site/adopting-families/">It's About Love</a>
<a href="http://www.myadoptionagencies.com/adoption-search/utah_adoption_agencies.html">My Adoption Agencies</a> (A search for agencies in Utah, but you can search your state.)
<a href="http://www.adopt.org/assembled/home.html">National Adoption Center</a> </span></pre><pre style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.nafadopt.org/">National Adoption Foundation</a> </span></pre><pre style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> <a href="http://www.nafadopt.org/fund-your-adoption/fund-your-adoption.shtml">Fund Your Adoption</a></span></pre><pre style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/%20http://www.parentprofiles.com/create/account/">Parent Profiles</a> (This website is similar to Direct Adoptions. Cost is ~$100 per month). </span></pre><pre style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.premieradoption.org/">Premier Adoption</a>
<a href="http://www.premieradoption.org/adoption-resources/affording-adoption/sliding-scale/">Premier Adoption Cost</a>
<a href="http://www.theadoptioncenter.com/">The Adoption Center</a> </span></pre><pre><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.adoptex.org/site/PageServer" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The Adoption Exchange</a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><a href="http://www.hsdcfs.utah.gov/adoption.htm" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Utah Department of Human Services</a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><a href="https://www.utdcfsadopt.org/index.shtml" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Utah's Child & Family Services Adoption Connection</a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
Resources:
</span><a href="http://www.aactofloveadoptions.com/adoptionfinancialaid.htm" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Financial Aid</a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><a href="http://www.affordingadoption.com/" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Affording Adoption Foundation</a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><a href="http://www.giftofadoption.org/index.html" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Gift of Adoption Fund</a>
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</pre>Ecologistahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12532536932069866130noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2036914933185242215.post-17142332311681554372011-05-17T14:39:00.000-06:002011-05-17T14:39:22.941-06:00Infertility ABCSo, I found the <a href="http://ldsinfertility.blogspot.com/2011/05/abcs-of-infertility.html">ABC's of Infertility over at Not Sugar Coated</a> to be interesting and thought it would be even more interesting to fill it out and see what the difference in infertility would be like in the alphabet.....<br />
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Here goes....<br />
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A) Age when you started TTC: I think TTC = Trying To Conceive? No problem there! Just stop using male & female birth control and the rest = pregnant.... <br />
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B) Baby Dancing or Sex: Sex<br />
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C) Children wanted: Um.... 3 is a good number but so is 5.... I honestly don't remember what we both said... but then again before the miscarriages I really didn't want any... or at least I was not ready and had no idea when I would be.<br />
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D) Dog/Cat/Fill in Children: No dog or cat - have allergies... but would like one of each. We are Foster Parents: right now no child(ren).<br />
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E) Essential oils/ Vitamins/ Snail Oils: I take a prenatal; have been for some time.<br />
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F) Fertility meds I've taken: Progesterone. I don't think Birth control pills or the Nuvaring counts....<br />
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G) Gain: Uh... well before I met my husband and I entered college I lost 22 pounds - didn't mean to! I was very disgustingly skin and bones.... I worked on gaining and maintaining.... Got married just before my 3rd year of college. Lived in a hell hole, then moved to a really nice place - while there I stabilized and went from an ill 125/130 to a healthier 150 and stayed for at least a year... then the last month of school & graduating I became pregnant with #1. I lost #1 Easter 2007 at 4 months going on 5 months.... I weighed myself just after the loss and I seem to remember being around 180.... Well, I just can't seem to drop below 165.<br />
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H) HSG (Hystosalpingogram): Not sure what this is.... Never been done. I've done an SIS and other imaging.<br />
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I) Infertile Pet Peeves: I feel like people don't accept that miscarriage is natural & is a form of infertility - neither is shameful. The taboos of society that suffocate open advocacy and support for those of us that have miscarried. The feeling of shame. The feeling of loneliness and abandonment because I have miscarried. Not being accepted for who I am. <i>"Advice."</i> Just don't give it, please - I'm tired of hearing it (a hug is always appreciated and acknowledgement of what I just informed you of).<br />
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J) Job title: Currently Myself. I have been: Adjunct Faculty at the Community College, Foster Mom, both Grad & Undergrad Student, and many more!<br />
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K) Kids name you're afraid will be taken by the time you have kids: Girl's name became common: Eliza. Boy's name: Bryce. <br />
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L) Length of time TTC: Uh..... well see M.<br />
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M) Miscarriages: 7 in 4 years.... 2007: 1; 2008: 2; 2009: 2; 2010: 2. Planned: # 3 & 5. Unexpected: #1, & 2. Chance: #4. Not on Birth Control of anykind (nothing planned, but no avoidance either): #6 & 7.<br />
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N) Number of times you've switched OB/GYN's, RE's: Moved away from college after graduation and first miscarriage (had no $ to see a doctor before move)... got in to a horrible Midwife who was of no help whatsoever & didn't check to make sure everything was fine... Got into an OB/GYN 3 months after first miscarriage (which, yes everything was fine - no D&C). Insurance changed via husband's employer + OB/GYN office moved did not provide new contact.... So got OB/GYN #2 (really disliked him), he confirmed miscarriage #3, and did imaging and some bloodwork.... switched to Midwife #2 in same office.... husband's employer changed, so insurance changed 2 more times. After a good length of time, now have new OB/GYN #3 and will be seeing first RE next month.<br />
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O) Ovarian quality: PCOS (Mainly the left one, so is "minor", but has not been looked into any further - was confirmed by PCP via imaging results that OB/GYN #2 sent me in to have done....<br />
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P) POAS or wait for AF: I honestly have no idea what the hell this means.....<br />
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Q) Quote from an obnoxious fertile: Advice of anykind.... The look of well, miscarriage does not count as infertility or the look of shame and shock at my bluntness about such things! "You can always adopt." <br />
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S) Sperm: He has yet to be tested.... but obviously I have been pregnant multiple times.... guess we'll find out in the near future.<br />
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T) Time tried naturally: Refer back to M. Although I was put on the progesterone just before #2.<br />
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U) Uterus: It's fine and dandy, except for one small abnormality - which I have been told is no big deal... OB/GYN #3 wants to find out if Endometriosis exists there......<br />
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V) Vagina: Hahaha.... It's had it's share of probing and problems that confound the doctors to the point of: they have no idea what to do. They tell me all looks and feels "normal" but certain things I describe are not...... It remains an annoying mystery - so I take herbal remedies that seem to actually help.....<br />
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W) What baby stuff do you have already: When doing foster care you need the basics so before we ever had a baby in the house: a pack n play, crib sheets, blanket, car seat, space-saver high chair, stroller, a few bottles, and baby bowls/utensils. We began with only those things... we really did not have anything else - the baby's bed is the pack n play. We don't know what age/size or gender the child will be. We did also prepare with a twin bed in case we got a child that was old enough/big enough to sleep in it. Now, after 1 placement and thanks to the generosity of my sister-in-law, I have quite a bit of clothing on hand. We also now have children's tylenol/ibprofen too.<br />
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X) X-tra X-tra Hear all about it! How many people know the ins and outs of our crazy TTC journey?: Those who actually open their ears beyond hearing "miscarriage, can't carry" and don't proceed with their idea of advice.... Some of our family and friends, and who ever reads my blog!<br />
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Y) Yearly Exam. Do you still go in even though someone sees your lady parts most months?: Yes. The exam isn't just those lady parts down low, but involves the ones up high too... the girls should not be forgotten. I haven't undergone regular fertility stuff.... yet. <br />
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Z) Zits: Ever since puberty... that's nothing new. They have tended to scar my face, because they are deep.Ecologistahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12532536932069866130noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2036914933185242215.post-88012071144929384982011-04-26T11:03:00.008-06:002011-04-30T18:49:41.638-06:00Infertility = Shame<a href="http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/bust-a-infertility-myth-blog-challenge.html">Resolve Blog Challenge </a><br />
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The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines shame as: "1: a painful sense of having done something wrong, improper, or immodest 2: <span style="font-size: x-small;">DISGRACE, DISHONOR <span style="font-size: small;">3: A cause of feeling shame 4: something to be regretted</span></span>"<br />
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Merriam-Webster Thesaurus: <br />
Synonym(s): "<span style="font-size: x-small;">DISGRACE</span>"<br />
Related Words: "chagrin, embarrassment; guilt, mortification, self-reproach, self-reproof"<br />
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How does it make you feel to read those definitions, synonyms, and related words? Who are you? How does this relate to you?<br />
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You may be someone who is not affected by infertility. You may be someone who is not affected, but knows someone that is living with infertility. You may be someone like me; someone that is both directly and indirectly affected by infertility.<br />
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No matter who you are, we all need to be aware of each other and the effects that myths can have. I know that people tend to have good intentions when giving their "advice" when it comes to my... shhh don't say it too loud or you may shock others...<span style="font-size: small;"> </span><span style="font-size: small;">INFERTILITY PROBLEMS.</span><b><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><u>Myth: It is shameful to talk about infertility</u>. </b>It is not shameful. Infertility is just misunderstood, misconstrued, and under-talked-about. We should not, and cannot keep the secret taboos of past generations bottled up. Infertility affects millions, we are not alone, and we should not stand alone. It does not need to be everybody's business - that's up to you who you tell what - but we should also find support; it's hard. I am glad that I have a close friend, a cousin, and blogs by people that I can turn to for support - as they too have suffered some form of infertility.<br />
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<b><u>Myth: Infertility = Not being able to get Pregnant; Miscarriage does <i>not </i>count</u>.</b> This is so classic; especially for me. I think this myth comes from how we both define and perceive infertility. <br />
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Dictionary defines infertile as: "not fertile or productive : <span style="font-size: x-small;">BARREN</span>...."<br />
Thesaurus: Synonyms: "<span style="font-size: x-small;">STERILE, BARREN</span>"; Related Words: "depleted, drained, exhausted, impoverished"; and of course it also gives the opposite, the Contrasted Words: "breeding, generating, propagating, reproducing"; Antonym: "fertile".<br />
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In the King James Bible, we see the word Barren used whenever referring to mainly a woman that has not been able to have a child(ren); with a few references toward unproductive land. You can find this term in these chapters:<br />
Genesis: 11, 25, 29, 30 ; Exodus: 23 ;<br />
Deuteronomy: 7 ; Judges: 13 ; 1 Samual: 1, 2 ;<br />
2 Kings: 2 ; Pslams: 11 ; Isaiah: 54 ; Luke: 1, 23 ;<br />
Galatians: 4 ; 2 Peter: 1<br />
Miscarriage is only mentioned as caused by another injuring the pregnant woman to the point of loss (Exodus 21:22). The list that has to do with the opposite is very lengthy.<br />
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I always have people "advising" me what to do, what to take, who to go to so I can get pregnant.... I don't have a problem of <i>getting </i>pregnant, I have a problem of <i>staying </i>pregnant. I suffer from multiple recurrent miscarriage.<br />
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<b><u>Myth: We shouldn't talk about miscarriage, because it is shameful. Miscarriage = Abortion</u>.</b> There still exists societal taboos about infertility and miscarriage... which are wanting to be broken! We need to talk about infertility & miscarriage. Yes, it can be very painful and uncomfortable to talk about; but that is because we tend to perceive it as shameful. Miscarriage tends to be related to Abortion. Miscarriage is what medical professionals label as "natural abortion" - it is a natural phenomenon where the body for whatever reason ends, breaks down, and does away with the pregnancy. Miscarriage is NOT the same as forced clinical abortion.<br />
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<b><u>Myth: It’s the woman’s fault</u>. </b>It takes Male and Female combined to make a baby. The woman is only half the equation.<b> </b>I have tended to blame myself for my multiple recurrent miscarriages. Nothing can be done; when you don't know what the cause is. The majority of miscarriage is unknown, a small percent has to do with multiple factors stemming from genetics.<br />
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<b><u>Myth: My husband does not need to get checked - his boys are just fine</u>.</b><b> </b>I have not had any problems with <i>getting</i> pregnant, I have problems with <i>staying</i> pregnant... and no one knows why except God and He sure isn't telling. So in my mind, there's nothing wrong with my husband - it's all me.... he has yet to be tested for anything, but is open to him being tested.<br />
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<b><u>Myth: As soon as you adopt, you’ll get pregnant</u>. </b>This is another classic heard by many. Sure, so-and-so that you know actually had this happen.... but guess what? I'm not that person! I also have not had the chance to adopt... have you <i>ever</i> looked into adoption? The process is quite daunting... <i>and</i> on our recent foster care placement it was up in the air so many times, and so many times we were told it was going to adoption, then it was in the air, then the baby was going back to bio-parent, then in the air.... urrrg!<br />
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<b><u>Myth: If you see a certain doctor or take a certain herbal remedy you'll get pregnant, because so-&-so did</u>.</b> So what! That's not going to change the fact that every-time I get pregnant - I don't have a problem with <i>getting</i> pregnant, I have a problem with <i>staying</i> pregnant - I miscarry. <i>Every. Time!</i> In fact, I have been pregnant so many times, I wonder sometimes if I should bother.... but then I would be looked down upon as "giving up." <br />
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<b><u>Myth: If you look into fostering, adoption, or other ways to create your family it means you have "given up" on having your own</u>.</b> Have I really. I spent a great day with a sibling and their spouse recently... and happened to mention fostering and adoption. The response of one of them immediately was something like this: "Well, we haven't given up on having our own." I didn't say I had given up... Just because my husband and I are open to different options of creating our family does not mean we have "given up" on having our own. No one, I think that suffers some form of infertility ever wants to "give up" - you just eventually come to accept who you are and how unique your family situation is. My husband told me some time ago that he has accepted the fact that for whatever reason unknown to mankind, we may not be able to be biological parents, and that is okay. I'm still working through the whole process.<br />
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We have a lot of negative language, that can be turned positive.... Post ways on how you and I, we, can do this; I would like to see what people think.<br />
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<a href="http://www.resolve.org/infertility101">Infertility 101</a><br />
<a href="http://www.resolve.org/takecharge">National Infertility Awareness Week® (NIAW)</a><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.utahinfertilityawareness.com/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="utahinfertilityawareness.com" border="0" src="http://download.utahinfertilityawareness.com/images/UIAButton2011.gif" title="utahinfertilityawareness.com" /></a><a href="http://www.resolve.org/takecharge" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img src="http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/images/bust-a-myth-badge3.gif" /></a></div>Ecologistahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12532536932069866130noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2036914933185242215.post-12941188417878654792011-04-21T14:55:00.000-06:002011-04-21T14:55:56.987-06:00Cherry TruthWhenever we think of things we really wanted when we were kids, we tended to utilize the bits of manners we decided we could utilize to get said want. One definite way was to work hard on being good, go to the authority figure, bat our eyes - to get that so cute innocent look - ask for what we wanted ending with please, with a cherry on top.<br />
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What comes to your mind when you hear the old familiar phrase: "Please, with a cherry on top."<br />
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Close your eyes and imagine with me this:<br />
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You are at an old-time fountain - a kid all over again full of excitement.<br />
Why? Because you were so very good, that you won over the authority with the purse strings to bring you to this magical place.<br />
This place where the stools have that fascinating swirl of the seat, and it's quirky wobble or squeak...<br />
Where you are just big enough to reach the the counter, but not see over it...<br />
To watch as the person on the other end fulfills the long-awaited want of...<br />
The rush of cold melting, the sweet overwhelming taste of all that pile of sugar set before you...<br />
A glorious mountain of Banana Split Sundae... that's right with a cherry on top, too.<br />
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I can remember what that tasted like, although I now have multiple food allergies and it has been years since I have had a banana split of any kind. Now, the bare truth is - a regular cow dairy ice cream split would be a death wish.... and way too much sugar.<br />
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The other truth is... that darned ol' cherry on top of anything is not overwhelming and disgustingly sweet as people have made them.<br />
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Cherries are yummy... but in there virgin natural state they are tart. The well-known Maraschino cherries are loaded with sugar and sweet syrup to make them super sweet <i>and</i> an eatable dye helps to intensify their stunning bright red color. I do not have anything against food coloring as long as it is safe to ingest. Want to know what the ingredients are for Maraschino cherries? Go <a href="http://www.cherryman.com/consumerinfo/consumer-ingredients.html">here</a>. Want a very short history of maraschino cherries? You can read that <a href="http://www.cherrieshealthbenefits.com/maraschino-cherry.shtml">here</a>.<br />
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We should all know what food coloring is, but if you are curious to read an actual definition you can go <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Food_coloring">here</a>.<br />
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Let me clear something up, the dye used in maraschino cherries is <a href="http://www.red40.com/index.html">Red40</a>, not the red dye made from a red beetle; you can read about it at <a href="http://www.snopes.com/food/ingredient/bugjuice.asp">Snopes.com</a>. <a href="http://www.ehow.com/list_7631752_dyes-enhance-color-fruits-vegetables.html">Here</a> at ehow.com, you can see a list of different food dyes commonly used. The FDA (U.S. Food & Drug Administration) also has some<a href="http://www.fda.gov/ICECI/ComplianceManuals/CompliancePolicyGuidanceManual/ucm074535.htm"> information about maraschino cherries</a>. For some out there, they could have <a href="http://www.allergicchild.com/food_dye_allergies.htm">intolerance or allergies to food dyes</a>.<br />
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Thankfully, as far as I know, I am not allergic to food dyes - can I taste synthetic food dyes? Yes, I can, but not in everything.<br />
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Why am I writing about this? What does this have to do with anything whatsoever? Well, it's a couple things, really. One, do we really know what we are eating? Two, it's an analogy of sorts to the next bit of this post. What is that you ask? It is in regards to infertility... whoa, did you just read what I wrote? Yes, you did. I said it is an analogy of sorts to infertility.<br />
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How so?<br />
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Anyone who has experienced any kind of infertility will be able to see what I am saying; those that have not, remember the picture of the banana split earlier - the emotions, the taste, the sensation, the entire experience. Aside from my obvious food inhibitions, those same emotions, the sensations, the entire experience can be likened to those whom have had the opportunity to experience becoming biological parents.<br />
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Those whom have experienced infertility, but by the Grace of God have after trials and tribulations been finally able to become such, know that the banana split of parenthood is much more than the mound of sugar, and it's intrinsic flavors... oh it is so much more - perhaps even indescribable.<br />
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Finally, those whom have gone through infertility and were never, for whatever reason, were able to be biological parents know even more the interdependence of the bitter and the sweet of becoming parents by others means such as fostering and/or adoption.<br />
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The banana split is glorious to behold in the form of a family, of a baby, a child... but the cruel reality is, that you can't have the treat. Not yet... not in the way you think... not in the way you want - no matter how many cherries you ask for.... Those cherries are in truth, something else. They are super sugar coated. Life is not sugar coated, and after what I have been through in my short life, shouldn't be, at all. There are some things that I cannot share and that is okay.The truth is, cherries are in reality tart, yes there are some that are a little sweeter, but should we make them into something they are not?<br />
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Our infertility is not a problem of getting pregnant, it's a problem of staying pregnant. No one has been able to figure it out. Infertility does not make us into something we are not, but other people seem to.<br />
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We found this <a href="http://ldsinfertility.blogspot.com/">blog</a>. She writes as plainly as day. I can definitely relate to her. She is a Foster Mom who has also experienced infertility; and in so doing as created her blog and is currently holding a contest for <a href="http://ldsinfertility.blogspot.com/2011/04/pre-national-infertility-week-giveaway.html">this book</a> about infertility. Her and her husband were married only ~3 months before Kabaju and I. It is certainly interesting how the world of blogging in the world wide web/internet has found us fellows within heavily similar struggles as our own. Whether or not I am randomly picked as winner, I will definitely be looking for the book at the library. Anyone that reads this, I encourage you to do the same; and take a look at her journey. No one is alone, we only think we are - and no amount of asking please for sugared up cherries will get us anywhere. Embrace your reality, do not make it into something else. There really is a reason for everything. It is hard, I know.Ecologistahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12532536932069866130noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2036914933185242215.post-44216557868188492192011-03-14T12:52:00.000-06:002011-03-14T12:52:10.660-06:00St. Patrick's DayI am going to say it early - 3 days early - Happy St. Patrick's Day.<br />
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Since St. Patty's day this year is on a Thursday, we celebrated this past Saturday the 12th of March in the St. Patrick's Day Parade at the Gateway in Salt Lake City, Utah. For some pictures follow this <a href="http://shotu.smugmug.com/2011Events/UT/Parade-Entries-Street-View/16166015_bYUQF#1214023097_QCTFV">link</a>.<br />
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We walked with the Utah Food Allergy Network (UFAN). Kabaju is of course our juggler, everybody loved him. I and another UFAN member got to hold the sign. We had a blast! It was a long parade and our first time going. Seems we end up in the parades lately rather than being spectators.Ecologistahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12532536932069866130noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2036914933185242215.post-16309680623768062032011-03-09T19:32:00.001-07:002011-03-09T19:34:30.171-07:00Pictures<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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</tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhz7Iy8aoYNx92BV1hoV2gFpFtURiHrf26YELhg_K9myclZuI8SxI8pEH3k-_yTqHQAk4A1juN6y1N49V0w8sTEYp5wjU0a2E_IY__sZhozdBro-Qwz15zBvd4rhltbZj8F7hvicsjeIS4/s1600/EpiPens.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhz7Iy8aoYNx92BV1hoV2gFpFtURiHrf26YELhg_K9myclZuI8SxI8pEH3k-_yTqHQAk4A1juN6y1N49V0w8sTEYp5wjU0a2E_IY__sZhozdBro-Qwz15zBvd4rhltbZj8F7hvicsjeIS4/s320/EpiPens.JPG" width="275" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>Ecologistahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12532536932069866130noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2036914933185242215.post-34361516897275383372011-03-09T13:52:00.019-07:002011-04-26T11:55:04.351-06:00Heeby-JeebiesI am doing this separate post since it is a separate topic, and the other post was already long enough.<br />
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After living with knowing what my real food allergies are for 3 years, I have finally owned up to a big fear of mine.<br />
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I now own EpiPens (with a training device). That's right... I suffer from Needlephobia.<br />
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I have had this phobia for as long as I can remember. Added to that, no matter how well I can focus on something, anything else, even talking to the other people in the room (myself & the nurse/phlebotimist or my husband) I can still feel <span style="font-style: italic;">everything</span> from them rubbing the cool alcohol swab, to them poking at my veins (which still tends to cause minor anxiety), to putting the "butterfly" around my arm to the final moment of the "prick" of the needle, and all the while, feeling the vein that is losing blood, to the blood flowing out into the little tube - to the final removal and relief of having the needle removed. Then the aftermath minor pain, the minor bruising of where they stuck me. I have learned to tell them that my veins roll, otherwise, they tend to miss, which causes me to escalate from anxiety to panic mode - not to mention the physical pain. At this point, hopefully I have not seen the needle... because I don't need that on top of cold shock. Yes, I have gone into cold shock when people have missed and have had to try again. Yes, I have had veins collapse - that really hurts and guarantees cold shock.<br />
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The typical blood drawing for testing, I have been able to do alone, because I have been able to teach myself how to try to focus on other things, before and during. Another very simple, but very important point I have learned is to tell them NOT to let me see the needle, not even a glimpse - otherwise <span style="font-style: italic;">forget</span> it. What has been the worst for me is when I have had to get an IV. My experience with IV's have been bad, really bad, and thankfully, I have only had 3. Two (2) out of the 3 were an absolute nightmare! All of those, I have had Kabaju with me. I told him from the beginning about my worst phobia, needlephobia, but he didn't understand the extent until I got my first IV - I was sicker than sick and I still went from anxiety to panic mode, all while trying not to throw up and bury my head in his upper torso, to keep me from seeing anything and try to focus on him. He then agreed after that experience, that I was <span style="font-style: italic;">not</span> joking.<br />
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*Shiver* Just writing this, I can still feel the aftermath ache of where they just recently stuck me. Before I picked up my EpiPens, just the thought of actually and finally getting them to carry everywhere I go, has given me the heeby-jeebies (makes me shutter, shiver, urg). Now that, I have practiced with the training device, it's not so hard to use - easy really - but I just hope if we ever have to use the EpiPen(s), that I won't feel those nerves on the side of my thigh that hurt when I used the training device. I also actually don't have the heeby-jeebies now that I have the EpiPens - but I will avoid touching their box as much as possible until I am forced to use them. The training device does not have needle so it will be used often to train family and friends - children will <span style="font-style: italic;">not</span> be allowed to play with it - it is to train for emergency, not for fun.<br />
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For more information about EpiPens go to the <a href="http://www.epipen.com/">EpiPen website</a>. EpiPens are only given by a prescribing physician and a pharmacy. There are <span style="font-style: italic;">no</span> over-the-counter alternatives. If you, or a loved one, or someone you know has an allergic reaction, but does not carry an EpiPen call 911 and tell the operator that they need Epinephrine or an EpiPen. Or, if they do carry one, learn how to use it and then make sure they get further medical attention. <span style="font-style: italic;">Do not</span> practice with the actual EpiPen. Again for further information go to the <a href="http://www.epipen.com/">EpiPen website</a>, or talk with a medical professional. I am not a medical professional. <i><span style="color: #330099;"><br />
<br style="color: #351c75;" /> <span style="color: #ffffcc;">This website does not constitute medical and/or legal advise and should not be relied upon as such. All information and suggestions offered are based on my own personal experiences and individual research. My goal is discussion, feedback and further education. As an active member of this blog, you accept personal responsibility for any actions you take with the information shared. Your qualified personal physician is your most important resource for individual allergy needs.</span></span></i><br />
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</span></i><span class="widget-item-control"><span class="item-control blog-admin"><a class="quickedit" href="http://www.blogger.com/rearrange?blogID=7046225886430282102&widgetType=Text&widgetId=Text1&action=editWidget&sectionId=sidebar-right-1" target="configText1" title="Edit"><br />
</a> </span> </span>Ecologistahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12532536932069866130noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2036914933185242215.post-90670928355930824602011-03-09T13:14:00.006-07:002011-03-09T14:50:51.572-07:00Life Goes OnPeople have asked me if we're going to get another placement when Princess Frog leaves. I proceed to tell them, "No. We'll take a break first." They look at me like I'm nuts or something...<br /><br />So, my analogy is this:<br /><br />No sensible person that just had a hard miscarriage or gave birth would immediately turn around and get pregnant again - like the day or week or month after.<br /><br />So why, would Foster Parents do the same by going through a very difficult placement turn around and take another one right away? That's just insane.<br /><br />Well, we are taking a break.<br /><br />Later next week will mark 1 month that Princess Frog has been gone out of our lives. She left the day she came home to us - a total of 7 months. We were her second (2nd) home - she had already been in Foster Care for 1 month.<br /><br />Court was rather nuts and interesting all rolled into one and took a while. In the end, judge's ultimatum was to extend services provided by DCFS so that bio mom was given yet again, another chance - 3 more months. By law bio mom only originally had 8 months to get Princess Frog back. We happened to get the nicest judge in the courthouse that likes to give second chances despite contradicting judge's self.<br /><br />So after more things going on, the GAL (guardian ad litem) [Princess Frog's attorney] and her caseworker decided to just move her in with bio mom and see whether they would sink or swim. Word is: They are swimming. I am glad that Princess Frog is doing well with her bio mom, but I also sorely miss my baby girl. She has certainly left a hole in our lives, but we are learning to move on.<br /><br />We were told numerous times by the GAL and caseworker (who have been doing this for years) that Princess Frog's case is the strangest, weirdest, hardest, most crazy case they have ever had and seen. [Just my "luck".] Usually cases are a lot more smooth, because they tend to know what will happen at some early point - this case, the entirety of it, no one knew what would happen - for 8 months no one knew where or what would happen with Princess Frog and her bio mom in the end. We are beyond the end, know we finally know.... unless something else happens - which if Princess Frog for some unseen reason ends up leaving her bio mom again, she will come home to us and stay.<br /><br />People have commented about why we didn't fight for her more. I'll tell you why: Foster Parents do not have the rights that Biological Parents have to their biological child(ren). Foster Parents are the child(ren)s advocate and a resource (a safe family to live with), but we really don't have much say. I have been told we do have say, but I sure don't feel like it; but maybe I just didn't know what to say or how to say it. If Princess Frog had not immediately moved in (2 days after court), we would have just repeated what we had already repeated multiple times and drug everything out longer... it was better for Princess Frog to just move and see what happened to help reduce further confusion, anger, and traumatization for her. I feel more sorry for what she has had to go through, than what I have had to go through.<br /><br />Our lives have changed about every six months for the past few years - so we are used to it, and we even embrace change. Change is hard, absolutely. Change is the only true constant in life, and I accept that constant. (Yes, that is also an oxymoron.)<br /><br />For those following this blog, don't be afraid to be a foster parent to someone. Fostering is well worth all the human emotions and paperwork it entails. The<span style="font-style: italic;"> children are worth it</span>! If you are interesting in Fostering or providing Respite please visit the <a href="http://www.utahfostercare.org/">Utah Foster Care Foundation website</a> for contact information.Ecologistahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12532536932069866130noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2036914933185242215.post-5142826503515756502011-02-07T23:11:00.002-07:002011-02-07T23:23:38.587-07:00I yi yiMy how time does fly.... So, January was back and forth, back and forth, up in the air, as the ball in a major ping-pong ball game hitting all the walls, the ceiling, the floor, and getting stuck somewhere in the lost reaches of the belly of the table. That is how I would describe the case since I last wrote.<br /><br />Most recent update: We have had Princess Frog the entire time. She had two day visits, and then the ball vanished in the air. We have no idea what's going on. That is the nature of her unique case... it's just plain weird and really, really hard. But she is soooo worth it.<br /><br />Court is very soon. It is a very important date - this time the judge really will need to rule an ultimatum... hopefully not a 3 month extension. The case needs to end for Princess Frog's sake. She needs to be able to settle down and stabilize... and just stay put. Wherever that may be, we just pray that what happens, happens in her best interest.<br /><br />I decided too, at this point to drop my second class... : ( Just thinking about it made me want to cry... just too much stress and I'm working on building my lesson plans. Another time, I'll pick it up and give it a go. For now, I'm madly working on grading the 30 (down to 20) papers that were handed to me a little while ago... since I'm a tad behind due to illness running around lose in my house. It's going to be a long week, been booked a while, and last minute too. Next week is now also officially booked full... and following will be interesting depending if we actually get to join Kabaju on a partial business trip to somewhere a little less frigged, but withing driving distance..... Ya, this month will just be more and more interesting.<br /><br />All I have to say is I yi, yi! I hear Zzzzzzz's a calling me.Ecologistahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12532536932069866130noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2036914933185242215.post-1682131195552329812010-12-16T19:17:00.003-07:002010-12-16T20:14:28.653-07:00CaseSo, the update after meeting with Princess Frog's biological mom is that we are looking at moving Princess Frog in with biological mom in about 1 month. We have court next week before Christmas, and there the Judge will decide ultimately what and when things will happen.... Either way, Princess Frog will need to be moved in with biological mom in 2 months or have some decision within the next 2 months. We will see what happens, when and how and all that good stuff. We're just glad there's finally light at the end of a long and hard tunnel. Relief is on it's way, but we do feel sorry for Princess Frog at only 1.5 years old - she ultimately has to deal with whatever happens. We love her, and wish her the best.<br /><br />I am grateful to those that donated gifts so she has a good Christmas through the <a href="http://www.utahfostercare.org/">Utah Foster Care Foundation.</a> After this, we will be taking a break until summer, then who knows? When we are ready we will open up to another child in need. Unless, of course Princess Frog comes back....<br /><br />I will be teaching two classes this coming spring semester - one full semester long, one that won't start until March and is half semester. Right now am working on getting finals graded and then will get grades submitted. Next week is completely booked.... every day we have something to do with Princess Frog's case for the first three days. Then other appointments and dealing with current car troubles. It will be nice to have Kabaju home all week.Ecologistahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12532536932069866130noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2036914933185242215.post-39541545410996540832010-11-16T00:05:00.003-07:002011-03-09T13:50:16.683-07:00Time Flies Part IIHello all,<br /><br />I am back; obviously. Yes, I am late, but late is better than never. Right where were we? Oh yes, if you remember <a href="http://ecologyoflife.blogspot.com/2010/09/time-flies.html">this</a> part - when I began writing our story as Foster Parents. <span style="font-style: italic;">A lot </span>has happened, naturally. In life, things happen all the time.<br /><br />So, after meeting with her caseworker, I contacted the her current foster family. That's right, we are her second foster family. Her first family are really good people, but it was too much. She is a hard baby... I'll explain soon. I got to meet Princess Frog (has we have dubbed her) the next day, on Friday. I brought home her information that the family had and some of her things they gave her. Thank goodness, because I sure did not have any toys for a growing toddler! Later in the evening, Kabaju went back with me and also got to meet her. We went back the following morning and picked her up and brought her home.<br /><br />Now, let me make something very clear here. Typically, when people have children (biological), they get pregnant and have 9 months to prepare for their family. Our family, started with a phone call. Period. Keep in mind, we brought her home at 13.5 months old and teething like none other! She is our first. We are first time parents. Now, for the typical biological family, after the 9 months of gestation, is the experience of birth, and then they have the next 13 months to get to know that new personality. We got Princess Frog at 13.5 months and teething overnight. At the time, we were helping out a friend that was out of work. So, as our house only has two small usable bedrooms - she was in ours with us for about a month. We had a lot to learn about how to help a baby manage teething pains. I knew some things, but ended up with some confusion about medicine to use, plus we had none anyway. What fun!<br /><br />One more thing to make very clear. This child is 13.5 months old, and at this point has moved 3 times in ~1 month. The first time was when she was removed from the unsafe environment she was in prior to entering the foster care system. Then she was moved into her first foster family. (I'm not entirely sure where she stayed prior to being placed with her first foster family). Then she moved in with us. Believe me, a baby knows many things and is quite aware. We knew this. Just watching her confirmed her awareness. So, with it came a lot of anger, frustration, confusion, more anger and fear. I could see it plainly in her face and her behavior. It was near impossible to get a small smile out of her - I don't think she even understood in the beginning what smiling was. She screamed and cried most of the time - when she was taking a nap, my ears would be ringing with the sound of her screaming and crying. The rest of the time, she didn't do anything - no noise. She would become easily over-frustrated and tantrum furiously. That is an understatement.<br /><br />She has stabilized with us in the past 5.5 months. She laughs, smiles all the time, and talks a lot. She was very small when we got her. A mere ~18 LBs and ~21 inches tall. Now, she is 30 inches tall, and 20 LBs. She finally has some hair, barely, and her two bottom front teeth, and now two upper front teeth are through. Thank God! She didn't really have much to her legs, but now they are fat for a skinny baby and strong. She has been walking for ~1.5 months. She imitates a lot, and says many words. She is very, very smart. She will follow instructions and listens - even when it is obvious she does not want to. She loves to have stories read to her. : )<br /><br />However, the sad thing is, visitation has started with her biological mom. She is regressing quickly to how she was in the beginning. She had not seen her biological mom since May or June. Her first visit was last week. Second visit this week. She is using less words, and screaming more again. Last week, the day prior to her first visit she had anxiety, and woke up screaming and hitting herself on the head after her nap. Thankfully she let me pick her up and I was able to console her. In the past, when she has lost all control, there is no consoling her. She used to scream and cry for anywhere from 1-3 hours straight at a time. Now, her longest time is an hour; shortest time is 15 minutes. We got her off of her extreme addiction to the bottle - I really hope she does not regress here.<br /><br />The day of her first visit, she was silent. She acted depressed. Even when I spoke to her, I could barely get anything out of her. She had a loss of appetite. She is not even 1.5 years old. The other thing she did recently, is after I changed her diaper, she freaked out - literally - for no apparent reason. She sat up and let herself fall back hard enough to bang her head on the floor. She did it quickly enough she banged her head a few times, before I could get her off the floor and in her crib where it was safer for her. And let her scream. It was very angry, nothing but pure fury. When I was telling her what was coming to prepare her for her first visit, she gave me a very dark angry look. We have no choice, by law we have to take her to the visits. We do not know how long this will go on for... we do not know what will happen.<br /><br />This is the life of a Foster Parent. Not to mention all the mounds of paperwork we have to do. Since visitation has started, I created a behavior watch. Where we write down extreme behaviors to provide evidence on how all this is affecting her. We have to do paperwork whenever we drive her somewhere, or do case activity. We have to paperwork every single time she goes to the doctor. Which is a lot for her; her system is near impossible to balance. Even though we figured out she is lactose intolerant. We have to do in-service training to keep our license which we just sent in the renewal paperwork and had the licensor come to the annual home inspection. Then there are the monthly visits by her caseworker. Sometimes we have visits from her GAL, or our RFC. Then there are the times to go to court, take her to visits, and meetings.<br /><br />Before any of this, we did 32 hours of pre-service training, a mound of paperwork, fingerprints, background checks, and a home-study where we were also interviewed.<br /><br />Foster Parenting is a lot harder and a lot more work than biological parenting. Foster parents are left to their own by others that shower biological parents with friendship, meals, gifts. I am especially grateful for my sister-in-law, Nat. She has rescued me multiple times. She has come and got us to get out of the house. She checks in to see how we are. We help each other out with babysitting. She is an amazing beautician - she always helps me feel good about myself again. I am also grateful for Kabaju's sister Evenspor and her family that were so very generous and thoughtful of us. They gave us a huge box of diapers. She said it was for our baby shower - which has never existed. I was speechless, I nearly cried. So again, to Spors in the Desert, Thank You! I have family that did give Princess Frog a blanket, and of course, my Aunt that watches her while I teach at a local college - I don't know what I would do without my Aunt.<br /><br />Side story: The people I was in contact with before life happened, called me two weeks prior to my class starting and asked if I would come teach. They came to me, with unfinished application, as I had been referred by a reputable professional - one of their own - and I took the opportunity. We are in a routine, and when running late Princess Frog always gets after me by saying, "Go, go!"<br /><br />I have experienced so many emotions... and I am human. The heart is for breaking over and over again, so we become more aware of the beautiful things of life.<br /><br />Dear God, please hear our prayers and our heartaches! Please.Ecologistahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12532536932069866130noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2036914933185242215.post-23384770139421815912010-10-02T12:08:00.002-06:002010-10-02T12:21:23.571-06:00By the Sweat of My Face<span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family: courier new;">Please bear with me for a moment. Instead of writing more right now about our story of becoming Foster Parents I'm going to write some on my struggle with food allergies.<br /><br />It is written in holy script:<br /><br /></span></span><ol start="1"><li class="searchitem"><div class="searchlabel"><a href="http://scriptures.lds.org/en/gen/3/19#19">Gen. 3: 19</a></div><div class="verse"><a name="19"></a><div id="gen/3/19"> 19 In <b class="searchword">the</b> <sup>a</sup><a title="Moses 4: 25 (23-25); TG Industry; TG Work, Value of." type="C" href="http://scriptures.lds.org/en/gen/3/19a"><b class="searchword">sweat</b></a> <b class="searchword">of</b> <b class="searchword">thy</b> <b class="searchword">face</b> shalt thou eat <sup>b</sup><a title="TG Bread." type="B" href="http://scriptures.lds.org/en/gen/3/19b">bread</a>, till thou return unto <b class="searchword">the</b> ground; for out <b class="searchword">of</b> it wast thou taken: for <sup>c</sup><a title="Gen. 18: 27; Eccl. 3: 20; TG Man, Physical Creation of; TG Mortality." type="C" href="http://scriptures.lds.org/en/gen/3/19c">dust</a> thou <i>art,</i> and unto <sup>d</sup><a title="Job 10: 9." type="A" href="http://scriptures.lds.org/en/gen/3/19d">dust</a> shalt thou return. </div> </div> </li><li class="searchitem"><div class="searchlabel"><a href="http://scriptures.lds.org/en/moses/4/25#25">Moses 4: 25</a></div><div class="verse"><a name="25"></a><div id="moses/4/25"> 25 <b class="searchword">By</b> <b class="searchword">the</b> <sup>a</sup><a title="Gen. 3: 19 (17-19); TG Mortality." type="C" href="http://scriptures.lds.org/en/moses/4/25a"><b class="searchword">sweat</b></a> <b class="searchword">of</b> <b class="searchword">thy</b> <sup>b</sup><a title="Moses 5: 1." type="A" href="http://scriptures.lds.org/en/moses/4/25b"><b class="searchword">face</b></a> shalt thou eat bread, until thou shalt return unto <b class="searchword">the</b> ground—for thou shalt surely die—for out <b class="searchword">of</b> it wast thou taken: for <sup>c</sup><a title="Gen. 2: 7; Job 10: 9; Ps. 104: 29; Alma 42: 30; Moses 3: 7; Moses 6: 59; Abr. 5: 7." type="A" href="http://scriptures.lds.org/en/moses/4/25c">dust</a> thou wast, and unto dust shalt thou return. </div></div></li></ol>(<a href="http://scriptures.lds.org/en/search?search=by+the+sweat+of+thy+face&do=Search&anonymous_element_1_changed=search">http://scriptures.lds.org/en/search?search=by+the+sweat+of+thy+face&do=Search&anonymous_element_1_changed=search</a>)<br /><br /><span style="font-family: courier new;">This now has become more true than ever. It is offical, I now am forced to make and bake my own bread from here on out. I used to have 2 store-bought breads I could eat. A few months ago the local store named Harmons Home style bread changed their recipe to include milk - which I am allergic to. Today, Kabaju bought us the other bread we knew I could eat today as we are out of bread entirely.... I checked the ingredient list and to my horror saw that Sara Lee's Grandma Scyamore's bread has followed suit. It is no longer safe for me to eat. Wish me luck in re-learning and finding a recipe for bread that I can eat. Don't bother mentioning "gluten free" as that makes no difference to me - they tend to use dairy and eggs - both of which I cannot eat. I am unfortantely missing the annual FAAN Food Allergy Walk (</span><a style="font-family: courier new;" href="http://www.foodallergywalk.org/site/TR/2010Walk/2010Walks?fr_id=1471&pg=entry">http://www.foodallergywalk.org/site/TR/2010Walk/2010Walks?fr_id=1471&pg=entry</a><span style="font-family: courier new;">) but I need to go make myself some bread. I am afraid Rhodes Frozen Rolls will soon follow suit...... who knows, perhaps they will stay different. I can only hope.</span>Ecologistahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12532536932069866130noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2036914933185242215.post-474747572283326682010-09-22T13:23:00.003-06:002010-09-25T20:03:07.454-06:00Time FliesHello again.<br /><br />It's been some time. Time obviously flies when life happens. I think I know what my last commenter meant by "mom" stories - at the time I didn't nor did Kabaju. So I will share in parts what it's like to be a Foster Mom - just so we keep things a little shorter and not drag this out too long. After all, I can only write what I know.<br /><br />Let me back up a bit in time...<br /><br />I had finally finished my thesis and graduated with my master's degree and with a shout of glee yelled, "No more school!" Whisper thoughts "Unless I teach it..." I was working on job applications for part-time work and came across information by a teacher at SLCC (Salt Lake Community College) that I could apply to be put into the 'pool' of teachers for the communications department. As I was laboriously working on that application - halfway through - when life happened.<br /><br />Once done with my collegiate career we informed our RFC (Resource Family Consultant) we were open and ready for a placement (aka we were ready to open our home, and hearts to a child in foster care and custody of the state). In the meantime I kept myself busy with picking up my old hobby of crochet and looking for part-time work. After nearly two months I went to contact our RFC to check-in, but she beat me to it and called me. She informed me that we were being presented as a possible family for a baby girl. She didn't want to get our hopes up, but wanted us to be aware.<br /><br />I had a baby shower later that day... it was antagonizing! Baby showers are always hard for me, but this one was especially hard - it was a duel baby shower for two women, one having a girl, one a boy. I nearly left not too long after being there.... but I made myself stay and focused on whatever else I could to ignore the annoying oohs and ahhs, <span style="font-style: italic;">and</span> my thoughts on whether or not we'd be picked for the baby girl I was called about just hours before. It was quite depressing really.<br /><br />Well, the next day which was Thursday July 15th we were informed that we were chosen as her new foster family. I immediately went into her caseworker's office to meet the caseworker and discuss the case and child. She also had pictures of the baby. I told her I was 95-99% sure we'd take her but of course wanted to present all we had discussed to Kabaju as he is my husband and we are a team.<br /><br />Later that day when Kabaju got home I spoke with him.... so stay tuned as Princess Frog is crying for me to get her up... wow where did the time go?Ecologistahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12532536932069866130noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2036914933185242215.post-56944231481477445142010-07-29T22:57:00.002-06:002010-07-29T23:15:31.739-06:00Mom by MondayHello all,<br /><br />This has been nearly two weeks coming... but since July 17, 2010 we have been foster parents to an adorable 14 month old girl, dubbed Princess Frog. She's determined like the main character in the movie, "The Princess and the Frog," <span style="font-style: italic;">and</span> she's really flexible - tastes her big toe all the time.<br /><br />Although her name might be changing to Vampire Frog which would make her totally hip, I suppose as vampires are really popular or something. She's teething and her first teeth seem to be her upper incisors with everything else just waiting to break surface. I just hope they break soon and she'll have a mouthful.<br /><br />It's been a roller coaster ride... definitely exciting! You will not see pictures of her nor her name for her protection and ours; but I thought you'd all like to know.<br /><br />Since it's Thursday I'd like to also do my Thankful Thursday post here:<br /><br />I am thankful for:<br /><br /> Princess Frog - you have a great big smile<br /> Kabaju - I love you, you are a great foster dad and partner.<br /> The Gospel<br /> Window A/C - you keep us from melting and getting any more heat sickness.<br /> A baby gate.<br /> Classifieds and bartering on pricing.<br /> Kabaju's job and raises.<br /> No more school! Unless I teach it.....<br /> Laughter<br /> Sleep.... think I'll go catch some zzzz'sEcologistahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12532536932069866130noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2036914933185242215.post-56501146343522533532010-06-23T13:04:00.004-06:002010-06-23T13:22:12.877-06:00Alive<div style="text-align: center;"><span style=";font-family:webdings;font-size:130%;" >I am alive and living.</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:webdings;font-size:130%;" >I feel,</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:webdings;font-size:130%;" >I smell,</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:webdings;font-size:130%;" >I touch,</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:webdings;font-size:130%;" >I see,</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:webdings;font-size:130%;" >I hear,</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:webdings;font-size:130%;" >All the things God has created</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:webdings;font-size:130%;" >The gifts of being alive.</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:webdings;font-size:130%;" >But these are two-way,</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:webdings;font-size:130%;" >One way is good and happy</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:webdings;font-size:130%;" >Another is sorrow and grief.</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:webdings;font-size:130%;" >Both must exist,</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:webdings;font-size:130%;" >Neither can be without the other.</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:webdings;font-size:130%;" >I am alive and living.</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:webdings;font-size:130%;" >I feel pain and love,</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:webdings;font-size:130%;" >I smell,</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:webdings;font-size:130%;" >I touch the computer to type these things,</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:webdings;font-size:130%;" >I see the words that are created,</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:webdings;font-size:130%;" >I hear my heart breaking... again for both love and happiness, sorrow and grief.</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /><br /></span><span style=";font-family:webdings;font-size:130%;" >It has been exactly one year since miscarriage number five, and around this same time of day - in the afternoon it was all over.</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:webdings;font-size:130%;" >I remember.</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:webdings;font-size:130%;" >Baby 5 I love you, though I never knew you.</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:webdings;font-size:130%;" >I lost you when you had only been created for ~3 weeks (nearly a month).</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /><br /></span><span style=";font-family:webdings;font-size:130%;" >To all my other babies I love you all, though I never knew any of you.</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /><br /></span><span style=";font-family:webdings;font-size:130%;" >In memorial:</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:webdings;font-size:130%;" >Baby 1 </span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:webdings;font-size:130%;" >(unexpected)</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:webdings;font-size:130%;" >lost at 4 months along April 9, 2007 (Easter)</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:webdings;font-size:130%;" >Baby 2 </span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:webdings;font-size:130%;" >(unexpected)</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:webdings;font-size:130%;" >lost at ~10 days April 16, 2008</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:webdings;font-size:130%;" >Baby 3 </span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:webdings;font-size:130%;" >(planned)</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:webdings;font-size:130%;" >lost at 1 month along July 17, 2008</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:webdings;font-size:130%;" >Baby 4 </span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:webdings;font-size:130%;" >(unexpected)</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:webdings;font-size:130%;" >lost at 1.5 months along January 1, 2009</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /><br /></span><span style=";font-family:webdings;font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;">Baby 5</span> </span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:webdings;font-size:130%;" >(planned)</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:webdings;font-size:130%;" >lost at ~3 weeks June 23, 2009</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /><br /></span><span style=";font-family:webdings;font-size:130%;" >I am alive and living.</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:webdings;font-size:130%;" >I am.</span><br /></div>Ecologistahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12532536932069866130noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2036914933185242215.post-88608091052479323092010-06-17T22:12:00.007-06:002010-06-24T09:10:21.047-06:00A Bit of Everything Plus ARTHello readers,<br /><br />It again has been some time since I last <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">bloggerated</span>... <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">eth</span> and wrote. So, let me bring you all up to speed a bit, shall I?<br /><br />I worked until beginning of April and then left - as <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Kabaju</span> was established for ~2.5 months in his new job. It was a tough decision, however I had a fantastic team lead that wholeheartedly supported me and assisted me in seeking out alternatives that ended up not working out... so I left. Did my two week notice and didn't look back. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Afterall</span>, my job served its purpose of keeping us afloat to pay bills. Once <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Kabaju</span> obtained employment and we steadied our financial situation, I put nearly everything towards paying off my student loans. So I'm happy to say I only have ~17.6% left to pay off on one loan and it's gone! Then I have two more to go! Can't wait to be debt free (minus our house)! : ) Dave Ramsey is fantastic! He is a financial guru that uses common sense and baby steps (see: <a href="http://www.daveramsey.com/">http://www.daveramsey.com/</a>).<br /><br />Well, I took the whole of April once I ended my job and turned my entire focus to finishing my thesis and gaining my masters of art degree. Which I am happy to say I have indeed accomplished! I did my oral presentation over the phone via <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Skype</span> April 29, 2010. Beginning of May we traveled to Spokane, WA for commencement as a family vacation which was fun... despite some rough moments (I'll tell you later...). May 8, 2010 we participated in the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">baccalaureate</span> mass (as <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Gonzaga</span> University is Jesuit, private Catholic school) it was interesting for us non-catholic people, but nice. Graduate commencement followed in the same place a couple hours later. So happy! Feels so good crossing the finish line... er stage. Once we got home my signature page was waiting. I was astounded! I thought I would need to do further revisions, which I did anyway, for myself. I Went to one place to have my thesis printed, another to have it bound and then shipped it off to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Gonzaga</span>. I received my diploma last week!<br /><br />I'll elaborate more later, for now I want to say a bit about the talents of my sister-in-law, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">Evenspor</span>. Her blog is: <a href="http://desertspor.blogspot.com/">http://desertspor.blogspot.com/</a>. She is a fantastic <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">bloggerette</span>/blogger. One thing she has done multiple times that I think is neat is create, design fabric patterns and has a place called <a href="http://www.spoonflower.com/"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">Spoonflower</span></a> print her designs onto fabric. So recently <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">Spoonflower</span> also does fabric design contests, which she has participated in the current one with the topic of Robots. She designed <a href="http://desertspor.blogspot.com/2010/06/little-favor.html">these</a>.<br /><br />The robots contest has ended at this point in time, however, you can see all the designs and the new contest by going <a href="http://www.spoonflower.com/contests">here</a>. I am sure if you would like a fabric with a specific design you can head over to <a href="http://desertspor.blogspot.com/"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">Evenspor's</span> blog</a> and ask her for assistance. She does have a bachelor degree in art and she is very good at what she does.<br /><br />Have a great day everybody! Cheers.Ecologistahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12532536932069866130noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2036914933185242215.post-13658022723115489342010-02-14T22:30:00.003-07:002010-06-24T09:12:36.079-06:00Spiritual Sunday<span style="font-family:lucida grande;">Hello All,</span><br /><br />It has been some time. Today was a beautiful day, and is Valentine's Day. Sadly, we didn't make it to church today for enlightenment, however it was still a Spiritual Sunday. We enjoyed spending time together tonight listening to <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Wallace</span> "Wally" Goddard (Author of Soft-Spoken Parenting and various other books). It was a great Valentine's Day treat. He was really funny and down-to-earth, anytime you get at chance to listen to him/meet him & his wife I encourage you to do so. [For more about Dr. Wally go to his website <a href="http://www.drwally.org/">here</a>.]<br /><br />I am still working on my MA degree, I am still doing a project although the project is turning more into a curriculum/course than an active training portfolio. I have been working full-time since late October 2009. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Kabaju</span> got a new job on his birthday last month. I thank God for second chances, because of His Grace I was able to sign up to redo my last semester this Spring Semester. We also <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">received</span> our Foster Care License mid-to late December. We are on hold for now, so I can finish my degree, then we can figure out what to do during the hours we aren't here as we both work full-time. However in speaking with Mrs. Goddard as she has been a bereaved mother, and an experienced mother with both biological & has fostered I asked her for some advice. Both she and her husband are very optimistic that God will bless us and lead us so that everything will work out. I agree, I just still have no idea how everything will work out....<br /><br />It has been a wonderful Spiritual Sunday and I hope yours has been the same.<br /><br />Have you learned something today?Ecologistahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12532536932069866130noreply@blogger.com0